12 weeks

We had our nuchal u/s and everything went just fine. It was so amazing seeing the babies again....squirming around, their little hearts beating, hands moving...just amazing! I almost feel like it's not my belly that I'm seeing on the screen. It must be someone else we are looking at!

I have to share a funny part of the story that I know you guys will appreciate....I went in the U/S room and there was a gown there waiting on the table, like usual. The nurse took my blood pressure, etc. and then said the doctor will be in momentarily. I looked at the gown and said, "So should I change before he comes back? Just bottoms or everything?" She said, "Oh, the ultrasound will be on your stomach so you don't have to undress." This is a new one! Going to the doctor and leaving my pants on! I haven't done that in about 4 years!! Actually I have to say that the transvaginal ultrasound seem to produce a much clearer image. The ones this time seem grainy compared to my 10 week transvaginal ultrasound.

I was a little frustrated because the doctor thought it was somewhat a moot point to check for all the things caused by chromosomal abnormalities given we did PGD and know the chromosomes already. I wanted the extra reassurance that the PGD results were accurate and I specifically asked during my last appointment if they felt it would be worthwhile and they said, "yes." He did go through the motions of everything and plugged my bloodwork in the computer, etc. but he didn't even really review the results with us....just handed us the paperwork and said "everything looks fine, but we already knew that." I felt like it was a little bit of a "rubber stamp" on what the PGD results had already told us. Of course, I'm glad they didn't find any glaring differences, but I almost wished they didn't even know about the PGD because maybe they would have been more thorough or something. I don't know. My hubby seems to think they were still very thorough, so maybe it was just me. They did check the babies' heart, brain, and facial structures and all of that looked good too, which is great. Apparently they can detect about half of birth defects by this point and they'll get to about 85% at the 20 week echo check.

I was hoping to feel a little more relieved than I do. I mean, so far, so good; but I can totally see why some people say that you never totally feel good until you have the baby in your arms. I still feel nervous about "coming out" and my next appointment isn't for another month, so I won't have any new info between now and 16 weeks. If something happens later on, I just don't think I could handle someone asking how the babies are and having to explain some horrific situation or just breaking down in tears (which is what I would probably do). I guess I need to get some "big girl pants" and just suck it up. Maybe a growing belly will help me to feel more pregnant and force me to talk! : ) I'm definitely feeling thicker, but still just basically feel fat. I can't wait to actually look and feel pregnant!!