I am 33 weeks today. I went to the doctor yesterday for an ultrasound and growth check and our little guys are measuring a little small. They both weigh right about 4 lbs, but are measuring more like 30 weeks than 33 weeks. The last few appointments they seem to be falling behind. Last time, it was just their arms and legs showing a little short; now it seems they are smaller overall. They are both around the 10th percentile. The doctor doesn't seem concerned (YET). He mentioned that I am petite (5' 2"), have two babies and the fact that they are both the same size is good and probably means nothing is wrong. However, if they dip to the 5th percentile, he would start to wonder what is going on. I go back in 2.5 weeks for another check. I don't know why, but I am really bummed out about this and I can tell I am already starting to blame myself. Is my body not working properly? I feel so disappointed because I have gained over 40 lbs and feel enormous; yet I still have babies that are "behind." In the back of my mind, I wonder if it has something to do with IVF/ICSI and if they are going to have long term growth problems. Why do I immediately fear the worst?
I am trying my best to look at the bright side. I am carrying 8 lbs of baby at 33 weeks and hopefully 4 lbs is enough that they would be ok if anything happened early. The doctor isn't overly concerned, so I shouldn't be either, right?? Easier said than done.
I am on a mission to lots of healthy food and extra protein. I don't know if it will help, but I have to do everything I can to get these babies big and strong and healthy.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Baby Shower/ Birth Classes
All is well over here...I keep thinking I'll do a better job about blogging and there never seems to be enough time. I don't know how you guys with little ones do it!
I am hanging in there. The 3rd trimester is kind of kicking my butt. My energy seems to be zapped, my feet hurt and are so swollen. Keeping them up doesn't seem to be helping any longer (so embarrassing and ugly in the summertime!), and my stupid carpal tunnel is still making life difficult. I can't stay in any position for too long because something starts hurting. If I sit in a chair, I feel bruised ribs and a back ache. If I stand up, it helps in the tummy and back area, but my feet hurt within minutes. I know it sounds like I am complaining and maybe I am a teeny bit, but mostly I just want to REMEMBER. I want to remember how everything felt because more than likely I will never get to experience this again. So I am taking it all in...every ache and pain included!!
This past weekend we had my baby shower that my girlfriends threw for me. They traveled from so far to be there. It was awesome!! So great to be back together and see each other (most are college friends) and it was totally a "pinch me" moment as I got ready for the shower and thought to myself, "this is my baby shower." I just never felt like this time would come. I have to admit I still have little thoughts that creep into my mind like, "What happens if something goes terribly wrong and I lose the babies. What will I do with all this baby stuff?" Do I return the gifts to people?" Of course the "stuff" isn't the important part, but I guess the point is the little bit of fear is still there - and I am almost 31 weeks!! To top it all off, there was a storm toward the end of the shower and afterwards a gorgeous double rainbow outside. I remember pleading with God for a sign when I was going through all the infertility treatments and now one came...and it was an amazing one... making me feel like my twins are what was meant to be.
In other news, we started our birth classes this month. They are pretty much every Monday and Thursday. The last one on Monday was pretty good, but the two before that were fairly lame. One thing that has been interesting is to look around the room and see the various types of people in the class. You have a woman that teared up as she introduced herself and her friend that was there to support her because she had to kick her husband out recently. I can't even fathom embarking upon this journey into parenthood alone. Then there was the 15 year old couple, whose parents had to drive them to class because they didn't have a driver's license. To make matters worse, the guy was a total thug - hat on sideways, pants under his butt, attitude - the whole nine yards. My heart ached for every infertile couple as they seemed to be the epitome of the "oops" scenario we could only dream of. There were married and unmarried couples. After looking around the room, it made me realize that everyone in that room had a story of how they got there. I know during the infertility struggles I felt so alone - that there was no one that understood. Maybe no one in that room did experience infertility and loss like I did, but I know for at least a few of them, they are going through their own struggles and it kind of reminded me that we aren't always as alone as we think.
I am hanging in there. The 3rd trimester is kind of kicking my butt. My energy seems to be zapped, my feet hurt and are so swollen. Keeping them up doesn't seem to be helping any longer (so embarrassing and ugly in the summertime!), and my stupid carpal tunnel is still making life difficult. I can't stay in any position for too long because something starts hurting. If I sit in a chair, I feel bruised ribs and a back ache. If I stand up, it helps in the tummy and back area, but my feet hurt within minutes. I know it sounds like I am complaining and maybe I am a teeny bit, but mostly I just want to REMEMBER. I want to remember how everything felt because more than likely I will never get to experience this again. So I am taking it all in...every ache and pain included!!
This past weekend we had my baby shower that my girlfriends threw for me. They traveled from so far to be there. It was awesome!! So great to be back together and see each other (most are college friends) and it was totally a "pinch me" moment as I got ready for the shower and thought to myself, "this is my baby shower." I just never felt like this time would come. I have to admit I still have little thoughts that creep into my mind like, "What happens if something goes terribly wrong and I lose the babies. What will I do with all this baby stuff?" Do I return the gifts to people?" Of course the "stuff" isn't the important part, but I guess the point is the little bit of fear is still there - and I am almost 31 weeks!! To top it all off, there was a storm toward the end of the shower and afterwards a gorgeous double rainbow outside. I remember pleading with God for a sign when I was going through all the infertility treatments and now one came...and it was an amazing one... making me feel like my twins are what was meant to be.
In other news, we started our birth classes this month. They are pretty much every Monday and Thursday. The last one on Monday was pretty good, but the two before that were fairly lame. One thing that has been interesting is to look around the room and see the various types of people in the class. You have a woman that teared up as she introduced herself and her friend that was there to support her because she had to kick her husband out recently. I can't even fathom embarking upon this journey into parenthood alone. Then there was the 15 year old couple, whose parents had to drive them to class because they didn't have a driver's license. To make matters worse, the guy was a total thug - hat on sideways, pants under his butt, attitude - the whole nine yards. My heart ached for every infertile couple as they seemed to be the epitome of the "oops" scenario we could only dream of. There were married and unmarried couples. After looking around the room, it made me realize that everyone in that room had a story of how they got there. I know during the infertility struggles I felt so alone - that there was no one that understood. Maybe no one in that room did experience infertility and loss like I did, but I know for at least a few of them, they are going through their own struggles and it kind of reminded me that we aren't always as alone as we think.
Friday, June 3, 2011
No News is Good News!
I am breathing a major sigh of relief. I did my glucose test last week and they told me "no news is good news" and I didn't get a call this week, so I am taking that as a good sign. I have been fearing the worst with respect to gestational diabetes and preeclampsia because I know I am at high risk and I have heard so many stories of such healthy women developing the condition. After infertility, I guess I just feel like if it could happen, it will happen to me! That's my luck! But, maybe I squeaked by on this one!!
I am at 29 weeks and up about 30-couple lbs. Babies were about 2 lbs 7 oz. at 28 weeks. Baby A was head down and Baby B was breech. I am hoping that Baby B decides to flip. I really am hoping for a vaginal delivery, but I am really fearing delivering Baby A vaginally and then having to do a c-section with Baby B. I just don't think I want to have BOTH types of healing. I guess we'll see what happens these next few weeks until they get "stuck" in their birth positions and then decide from there.
In other news, we bought a house! EEK! It's been on and off during the negotiations (the sellers had some serious financial problems) and we finally closed this week. We have a lot of work we want to do to the house, and we have been back and forth trying to decide if we should rush everything and get in before the babies arrive (which would be ideal), but we finally decided there is no way we can get all the work done in time...so we'll stay put for now and move this fall. So, now that I finally have clarity on where we'll be, I feel like I can start getting my baby things organized a little better. Except one small detail....I called to check the status of our nursery furniture and it is not expected to arrive for another 4-6 weeks!! YIPES! I guess that is what bassinets are for?!!
I am at 29 weeks and up about 30-couple lbs. Babies were about 2 lbs 7 oz. at 28 weeks. Baby A was head down and Baby B was breech. I am hoping that Baby B decides to flip. I really am hoping for a vaginal delivery, but I am really fearing delivering Baby A vaginally and then having to do a c-section with Baby B. I just don't think I want to have BOTH types of healing. I guess we'll see what happens these next few weeks until they get "stuck" in their birth positions and then decide from there.
In other news, we bought a house! EEK! It's been on and off during the negotiations (the sellers had some serious financial problems) and we finally closed this week. We have a lot of work we want to do to the house, and we have been back and forth trying to decide if we should rush everything and get in before the babies arrive (which would be ideal), but we finally decided there is no way we can get all the work done in time...so we'll stay put for now and move this fall. So, now that I finally have clarity on where we'll be, I feel like I can start getting my baby things organized a little better. Except one small detail....I called to check the status of our nursery furniture and it is not expected to arrive for another 4-6 weeks!! YIPES! I guess that is what bassinets are for?!!
Carpal Tunnel
I wrote about some weird body changes recently and I have one more to add to the list! I think I am one of those lucky girls that gets carpal tunnel syndrome during pregnancy. I'm not 100% sure that is what it is, but the symptoms I am having kind of seem like it. I started noticing that my wrists (on the inside of my hand) seemed really stiff when I woke up in the morning and that I was having trouble grasping small things, like my toothbrush or my razor in the shower. After the early morning, things seemed to improve. I figured maybe it was swelling, kind of like my feet. But this past week, things seem to have gotten worse. The tip of my middle finger and sometimes my pointer finger and/or ring finger is numb...just tingling and uncomfortable. According to Dr. Google, that sounds a lot like carpal tunnel. Luckily I don't have trouble typing (other than it feeling weird to type with numb fingertips), but I am having serious trouble writing with a pen. Thank goodness I did most of my thank you notes from my shower right away!!
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