3 Cheers for the end of meds!

I graduated yesterday. No more progesterone up the crotch. No more estradiol. No more baby aspirin. HOORAY! Too bad I would trade those damn-vitamin-horse-pills-that-make-me-gag for the teeny tiny estradiol or baby aspirin any day! Unfortunately, that's not how things work. There is a small part of me that sees those things, particularly the progesterone, as a security blanket and it feels a bit weird to stop, but everything I have heard and read is that the babies don't need it anymore, so I am generally ok with it.

I spent time this weekend checking out baby items online - cribs, carseats, strollers, nursery set ups. I am a total research fanatic and overanalyze everything and with the abundance of stuff we are going to need, I feel like I want to get started, particularly because a) I am clueless; and b) I feel like twins have their nuances and I can't just ask friends (they have singletons). I can feel myself getting all into it and yet there is this subtle reminder in the back of my head warning me to be careful and maybe I shouldn't be doing this yet. The deeper I go, the more it's going to hurt if things fall apart. The ongoing catch 22.

The other thing I am spending oodles of time on is analyzing my belly. I must pull up my shirt about 3 times a day and ask my hubby if my belly looks bigger. I know I am going to be eating my words at some point, but right now, I CANNOT WAIT to have a cute little baby bump! And, please just let me dream for a minute that it will not include my ass getting huge and all kinds of other expansions...just my little basketball belly please! : ) In all seriousness, it is really weird...my belly looks fairly small in the morning and then by the end of the day, it's all full. It as if everything I ate is just sitting there on top and then by morning it is digested. Very weird. I am definitely in my pants reserved for when I feel fat, but no sign of needing maternity clothes anytime soon.

The big event of this week is the nuchal U/S. I am mostly excited, but still a little nervous. I think this is going to be the last big appointment for a while, and we'll be at 12 weeks, so I'm feeling like if everything is ok, we should be ready to "come out" about our pregnancy. But then why don't I feel ready? We need to tell my husband's family (still haven't done that...whoops!) and I'll probably tell a few close friends, but I'm not sure I am going to tell anyone beyond that. Is that weird??