Random Thoughts from Labor & Delivery

We came home 9 days ago and everything is going great. The little guys are happy babies and eating more and more. I will post more soon. Just wanted to capture some random thoughts from labor and delivery....

• I was shocked at how fast things move. One minute I thought I was going home, 5 min. later my water was broken!


• Epidurals are amazing! Seriously, contraction pain totally went away. BUT – while the epidural helped with contraction pain in belly, I felt EVERYTHING down low. I didn’t think that was how it was supposed to be. According to my doctor, that is a "good" epidural so you can push effectively.


• Pushing a baby out is the hardest thing I have ever done. It was like running a marathon times 10 (except that I've never run a marathon)! PS – it is not a good idea to push using your face because you end up looking like you got stung by 1000 bees and you get broken blood vessels in your eyes. Not pretty!


• The mesh underwear in the hospital….best underwear ever!


• Pads in the hospital – yuck! Let’s just say you feel like you are wearing a diaper.


• Lansinoh nipple cream is my best friend.


• Getting a catheter without an epidural – not so pleasant.


• The swelling in feet (or in my case, ankles, calves, knees and thighs)…that gets worse before it gets better.


• Take the stool softener the hospital gives you. It makes SUCH a difference!


• Along that line, hemorrhoids suck : (


• My boobs are EN.OR.MOUS!


• Holy night sweats! In the few hours that I do sleep, I wake up drenched! I guess that is my body’s way of getting rid of the extra fluid.


• At one week, I have lost half of my pregnancy weight (27 lbs). I am so fortunate to not have any stretch marks. My belly is still very strange looking. I expected to have loose skin. Instead it looks like I still have a little baby bump and my outtie belly button is still there. Just not what I expected.


• The fluid that is in my legs is leaving the way it came. It started in my feet, then my ankles, then my calves, then my knees and finally my thighs. Now, the fluid is gone from my thighs and knees, but still in my calves, ankles and feet.


• Breastfeeding is challenging – seems like it is one step forward and two steps back. I was planning to tandem feed from the beginning. Just getting one to latch is hard enough. I can't imagine trying to do both at the same time yet.


• My milk supply seems to be doing well. I am making (pumping) more than double what the little guys are drinking (they drink about 40 cc’s per feeding) and I am making between 140 – 200 cc’s now that my milk is in.


• I thought your milk coming in would be a big event. I heard things about waking up to monster boobs. That kind of happened, but for me it was more of a gradual process. I kept making more and more each day, so it was kind of a gradual process.


• It is amazing what adrenaline can do and how little sleep you can function on when you are totally in love.

The Twins have Arrived!

Surprise! Our 2 little miracles have arrived!!

Lots more details forthcoming, but the quick story….

Went to the doctor on Monday afternoon for a regular appointment and was sent directly to the hospital because the preeclampsia stuff was getting worse and they wanted more testing. Once there, at looking at the lab results, the nurses told me, “You aren’t going home….not without those babies.”

More surprises…you know how I mentioned I felt like the babies had dropped, well, we did an ultrasound and Baby B had flipped and was now vertex (head down) like Baby A. He had been breech the whole pregnancy and I was so thrilled with this change.

SO…..long and short of it was Tues. AM they broke my water, started pitocin, I got an epidural at lunchtime, at 6pm they wheeled me in the Operating Room. I pushed for 40 min. with each baby and vaginally delivered my two little miracles who I am completely in love with…


"Baby A" Matthew

4 lbs 14 oz.

18.5 inches long


&

"Baby B" Ryan

4 lbs. 11 oz.

17.75 inches long


My little guys both got 9 out of 10 on APGAR and are perfect little angels!

I had severe bleeding afterwards. Apparently on average a placenta detaches in about 3 min. Both of mine took 23 minutes and had to be manually separated. The pain was INSANE!! I guess I thought I was “done” after delivering Ryan, but the next 45 min seemed just as painful as pushing those babies out. The result of the great blood loss and the preeclampsia was that I was seriously sick after delivery. I was shaking uncontrollably, bundled in a million warm blankets, and felt like I was dying. I really felt like I was not on earth. It was pretty scary. I was so sad because I wanted so badly to hold and nurse the babies, but there was absolutely no way.

Wednesday morning, I was making a little improvement, but the doctors were talking about giving me a blood transfusion (which I have held off on since I seem to be improving). Meanwhile, both babies were doing great. Matthew was having a little trouble keeping his temperature up, so he had to be put in an isolette (basically a warmer) for a day.

I started trying to breastfeed and pump on Wednesday as I started to improve and while it has been a slow start, I have gotten both boys to successfully feed a few times. I want to take my lactation consultant home with me!!

The insane hormones have also set in. Let’s just say that I was standing in the nursery rocking my boys at 3am this morning, balling my eyes out and repeating, “I can’t believe they are mine.”
I was officially discharged yesterday and expect the boys to be discharged today so we may be going home!

More to come, but wanted to share the awesome news!

Fertility Article in WSJ

I was shocked to see an article on fertility previewed on the front page of the Wall Street Journal.

This woman's face says it all. The pain in her eyes, her mouth, her soul stripped of hope. I know I spent years feeling this way and I know many of you have too (or still are).

Sending love and hugs to my fellow infertiles and cheers to more public awareness about infertility.

Lightening?

I have read about "lightening" at the end of pregnancy. I'm not sure if that's what has happened this weekend, but the babies have definitely made a change. I can't say they feel lighter though, if that's what that term is supposed to mean! They seem much lower and all of a sudden I feel lots of movement on my left side, when the last few months I have mostly been feeling movement on my right side. Along with the dropping, I have started getting some serious lower back pain. I was driving to Lowe's to pick up some supplies for my hubby yesterday (who has been working his tail off to get our new house ready) and I was seriously beginning to wonder if I was going into labor between the back pain and the cramps I was feeling. Thankfully, the cramping stopped, but it has kind come and gone the last day or so. The other thing I've been noticing is that my Braxton Hicks contractions are actually waking me up in the night. They still aren't painful, but I find myself waking up feeling uncomfortable and find my stomach is hard as a rock. And the boob leakage at night seems to be getting worse!

I was joking with my husband that it's amazing how pain is relative. I used to notice the pain in my feet and ankles. Now, I mostly pay attention to the pain in my knees/legs (where the fluid is the worst) and the upper right abdominal pain (thinking my liver). I ask myself, "do my feet not hurt anymore?" or "is my hand not numb from carpal tunnel?" and I find that those things ARE still there....I just happen to notice the things that hurt the worst! Honestly, I am in pretty bad shape. There are very few things that don't hurt at this point.

With these latest symptoms, I basically feel like a ticking time bomb. Part of me wants the babies to stay put and grow and get strong. We need another week or so to get the new house ready. Plus, I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but I have secretly been hoping these babies are born on July 31st. My mother-in-law passed away from cancer at the young age of 55. Hubby and I miss her dearly and are so incredibly sad that our boys will never know her. Anyway, her birthday was July 31st....what an amazing thing that would be. On the flip side, part of me (my poor body) is so ready to deliver these babies and rid myself of all the fluid and weight and pain. Speaking of weight, I think I have gained about 55 lbs now. 55 lbs you guys!!!!!!!! I weighed less than 110 lbs at the beginning of this!!! I digress. Obviously these babies will come when they are ready (or if I make it past 38 weeks).

The anticipation is getting exciting! I have started wondering what these little guys will look like, what their personalities will be. I worry about breastfeeding and sleep deprivation and being a good mom and not a complete stress case. My heart swells watching my hubby practice taking the stroller for spins around the garage. But mostly, I just pray that my boys are healthy. I can still hardly believe that this is happening. I am two weeks or less from having a family, which is something I wasn't sure I would ever have.

Belly Pics

I am super late, but I finally updated some belly pics.
I need to take another one soon. It might be my last one!

36 week appointment

I had a quick appointment today to check blood pressure, urine (for protein) and do my Group B Strep test. My blood pressure was about the same as it was on Monday - still slightly elevated, but not to dangerous levels. There was some protein in my urine, but again not to dangerous levels. So, they said come back on Monday to continue to be monitored for preeclampsia signs. I am a little nervous about some of the other side effects they mentioned - headaches, blurred vision, upper right quadrant pain....I have had all of these things, but they seem to come and go. The upper right quadrant pain is the most interesting - I always assumed that was the baby that made my ribs feel bruised and tender, but apparently that may be my liver, which is enlarged! EEK!

They did my Group B Strep test and then asked if I wanted to have my cervix checked...said it was totally optional. I asked how much it was going to hurt and the doctor said, "it's gonna be pretty uncomfortable." I quickly said, "no thanks." I was kind of curious, but I figured if they aren't going to check me at every appointment, what is the point in knowing (because I won't be able to see progress)? Even if I was slightly dilated, I could stay that way for weeks. I am slightly rationalizing my decision though. Honestly, I kind of wimped out. I can't believe after all the IVF stuff I've been through and the fact that I am about to give birth that I wussed out on a cervix check. GEEZ!!! I have really gotten "soft!"

The craziest part of the appointment was when the doctor asked if I had thought any more about delivery. I told him that if the babies stayed positioned as-is, that I would probably do a c-section. He said, "Ok, well let's get you scheduled for about 38 weeks." I told him I needed to check with hubby and then when I was checking out at the front desk, I checked to see who was on call that week, so maybe I could pick a doctor I liked (I go to a group practice). It just seemed so surreal to actually be thinking about scheduling the birth of these babies. I can't believe the time has come!! I am just praying these little guys are healthy and strong. They certainly fought hard to get here, so I'm hoping they continue to be fiesty little guys!

Still Plodding Along

I went to the doctor yesterday. I am still plodding along, which is great news at this point. My blood pressure was about the same as last week and the urine test came back ok. They want me to start going in twice a week for monitoring just to be sure the preeclampsia signs don't get worse.

The babies are staying right on that 10th percentile line. Baby A was 4 lb 15 oz. and Baby B was 5 lb. 2 oz. Baby A is head down and Baby B is breech. They are in the same position they were 2 1/2 weeks ago, so most likely that's how they are going to stay. I have a pretty big decision to make if I was to try a vaginal delivery. I feel like kind of a quitter, but I think if the babies stay in their current positions that I might opt for a c-section. I just feel like the worst case scenario is to do 1 vaginally and 1 c-section and it just feels like that is the path I am headed down. After A delivers, they would have to try and turn Baby B, or a few doctors in the practice will do a breech extraction where they reach in your uterus and pull Baby B out by the feet, but they said they do not do them often and there are risks, namely head entrapment, which sounds super scary to me. And all of these options require time. If Baby B is stressed, they have to deliver ASAP. So, it just seems there are so many scenarios where Baby B gets delivered by c-section. Maybe I am crazy, but I just don't want to be in labor all day, vaginally deliver A and then end up with a c-section after all. Am I "giving up" too easy? Any thoughts???