5 Normal/Balanced Blastocysts!

Woo hoo! Dr. PGD called to say that we have 5 normal/balanced blastocysts (out of 12 that were tested)....ahem, RE-tested. I am still bitter. Anyhoo, this is awesome news as I see it! So, I will talk to Dr. RE and Dr. IVF Center today and see what the gameplan is. We wait for my period to come and then start the FET protocol, which includes estrace pills three times a day for about 2 weeks and then the transfer. I think they will thaw 2 embryos and then if one or both don't make it, they thaw until they have 2. We'll transfer those 2 and then pray like crazy!!

Botched PGD Test!

So, we drive 2 hours for our supposed Embryo Transfer and about 15 min. before we arrived at the clinic I got a call from the PGD center saying that they have NO RESULTS. I wasn't prepared for that possibility. I dreaded the call saying we had no normal embryos, I hoped for the call saying we had many normal ones....but NO RESULTS???? The doctor from the PGD Center said "this has never happened before," but wouldn't that be our luck?? So, the new gameplan is to repeat the biopsy once the embryos become blastoycysts (today or tomorrow) and then re-perform the microarray PGD test and PRAY we get results the second time. To add insult to injury, we also have to freeze the embryos now because they can't stay in culture any longer and we won't have the new test results for 42 hours. So, now I have to wait a whole other cycle to transfer. UGH!!! I am so mad that these little embryos have to go through so much....not one, but TWO biopsies, freezing and thawing....how can they withstand all of that??? As if this wasn't hard enough. I am just so mad and sad and upset. My dreams of possibly having my babies in utero this weekend out the window in a flash. When talking to the PGD Center and the IVF Center and coming up with this new gameplan, I had my act together, mad, but composed, figuring out what's next, all the while my hubby in the seat next to me saying, "can you translate? I have no idea what you are talking about. All I heard was, 'this has never happened before.' " Sweet, sweet hubby. He still asks me what the chromosome "thing" is that he has. He's not into the details! But he does understand when his wife completely loses it. After I hung up the phone, that's exactly what I did. I just sobbed. I know I should be grateful we weren't given the worst news possible (that we had no healthy embryos), but you have so much hope, so much riding on this, and it is such a let down. I am realizing the futher we go in this journey that you not only deal with the given failure or roadblock or let down of that moment, but all of the past failures and challenges and have to deal with all of it - and sometimes it feels like more than I can bear.

Did you Say 19???

I was in the Christian Family Store with my husband's grandmother "Nana" when my doctor called. We were buying a Bible for my brother-in-law and his fiance for Nana to give them as a wedding gift. I momentarily thought about quickly cutting off my cell phone, embarrassed at the loud ring in the Christian store, or what Nana would think if I had questions, but I recognized the number and had to know what was going on. So I answered. It was my RE and it was good news! He said, "We have lots of embryos. I think the lab said, '19'." I wasn't sure if I had heard correctly. "19????!" Yep - that's correct. WOO HOO!! So some of those little eggs fertilized!

Obviously just because you have good numbers doesn't guarantee anything in this process (as I have found in the past), but at least it helps you stay in the game and gives you something to feel hopeful about!

Egg Retrieval Was a Success!

22 eggs, 14 "good ones!" WOO HOO!! I knew there looked to be a lot of "black dots" on the ultrasound screen, but not all of them were full size. Hoping some of those little ones decide to fertilize! Feeling so much better after this retrieval than the last one. I think this is the first time I said my pain was "0" the first time. Didn't even take any Tylenol!

Thankful for NOT knowing

I go in for my ultrasound to see how the eggs are coming along. My doctor reads my chart from his partner's report of my weekend ultrasound and says, "He wrote that you should have 6-12 eggs ...that is a heck of a range." So, he checks things out and it turns out that he thinks I will get 12-14.

If I had known I might only have 6 eggs, I think I would have cried all weekend. Don't get me wrong - I understand some people would love to have 6...it's just when you are dealing with PGD and our odds, you need a heck of a lot more than that to make the numbers work.

Usually I want to know EVERYTHING. In this case, I'm glad I didn't know what that doctor wrote this weekend!! Not a darn thing I could do about it and I would have been a basket case!


Trigger shot tonight!! Egg retrieval on Friday!