Sunday, January 6, 2013

Yep, I'm still alive!!

I have been HORRIBLE about blogging.  I never in a million years thought I would be one of those people that just wouldn't have time after my babies arrived, but yep - I am.  My twin boys are 17 months now and they are so much fun.  The three biggest takeaways I have had since these guys have been born are:
  1. Infertility was stressful on marriage, but having children has been way harder for us.  My DH and I have always had a great relationship, and actually were as close as can be through the years of infertility. I can honestly say that since the babies have been born, this is the worst our relationship has ever been.  Sad, I know.  I guess it's mostly my fault.  I find myself being resentful he is never home, never spending time with us, always too busy.   I never do anything for myself (which is probably my fault I don't get a sitter).  Then when I get upset and he actually makes the effort, I snip at him for every little thing he isn't doing correctly.  I know I shouldn't, but stress and lack of sleep make me seriously moody.
  2. Kids are HARD WORK.  Now that isn't a surprise, and I was warned that "your life will never be the same," but man - I didn't think it would be quite this hard!  
  3. It is impossible to imagine how much you will love and give for your child(ren) until you experience it.  It is greater than anything imaginable.

Here are my little fellas. As I was walking through Costco this weekend a woman looked at the boys and said to me, "Ma'am, you are so blessed, so very blessed."  It made me pause.  I am used to the "aww, they are so cute" comments," but "BLESSED..."  Indeed, I am. 

Posted by at

5 comments:

  1. MimaJanuary 8, 2013 at 7:49 AM

    Hi, Debbie. Thanks for you story. I wish a lot of happiness to you and your family. My sister has twins, so I know how busy you are. Well, I am 36, after myomectomy and hormonal therapy of endometriosis, IVF was the plan, but I got pregnant naturally. In the 20th week there was a finding of congenital heart defect during my sono, I underwent amniocentesis. Results were very bad - the baby had
    deletion of one chromosome, so we decided to determine pregnancy. Next week we are going for examination, whether one of us is not a carrier of balanced translocation...
    Mima

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Infertile FarmerJanuary 8, 2013 at 12:44 PM

      Mima,
      I am so, so incredibly sorry. You must be devastated. I cannot even imagine the emotional rollercoaster you have been through to deal with infertility, get pregnant naturally and then to lose your baby. I had two miscarriages, but to get to 20 weeks and have this happen, is just horrible. I hope you get some answers. If you do find you or your husband is a balanced translocation carrier, please get in touch with me (or stay in touch regardless!!!) but I just found there were so few people that were familiar with balanced translocations. I can share our treatment path and decisions in case it is of help to you. In the meantime, I will be thinking and praying for you. I truly believe that the baby(ies) we are meant to have will eventually come. It sometimes just takes longer than we hope (or deserve). Stay strong! HUGS!!

      Delete
    2. MimaJanuary 8, 2013 at 11:38 PM

      Thanks, Debbie. Life is sometimes so cruel. Tell the truth, I am a medical doctor - pediatrician, working at dpt of neonatalogy... Next week I should come back to my work, after 9 weeks since sono... As a doctor I understand the situation around genetic perfectly, but it is a big difference to be a patient...

      Delete
  2. KeyaJanuary 8, 2013 at 9:59 AM

    Ohh so good to see you back with updates!! They are so so so adorable. Look at their dimply smiles :)

    Its so true that having kids is hard on one's relationship with hubby. There are so many days that I feel sad and struggle with this. Some days are good but some days i get resentful of everything. And then I remember about how blessed I am to have a precious little one and a loving hubby. Keep updating when you get a chance!

    ReplyDelete
  3. LibbyGFebruary 23, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    It tickles me to see your little guys! What a joy they must be. I hope you and your DH find your way to a happy new normal soon! I can only imagine the pressure you're under.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)