Saturday, January 7, 2012
Separate Rooms
When I was pregnant I was sure I wanted my twins either in the same crib or in separate cribs, but in the same room. I read so much about how they had this bond from being in the womb together and how they comforted each other. I don't know if it's just my guys, and it's actually kind of hard to say, but they don't really care all that much about each other. In fact, it wasn't until about a month ago that they even acknowledged each other's existence. Now they will watch each other and smile at one another, but they would still much prefer to interact with adults. Anyway, I have had them in separate cribs, but the same room for quite some time. We got through sleep training (along with some crying), but toughed it out in one room. Everything I read said they will sleep through each other crying. That was true SOME of the time. I truly believe they go through sleep cycles and when they are in a deep sleep, yes, they will sleep through some crazy crying. However, if they are in a light sleep or on the verge of waking up and the other is fussing, they are done. Anyway, the latest challenge is that one of the boys has learned to roll over. Instead of sleeping during naps, he is practicing his new "skill." And he was disturbing his brother. As I began thinking about it, I realized that it is always going to be something. Soon the other one will start rolling, then they will start pulling up, and heaven forbid when they start talking to each other instead of sleeping! After lots of agonizing, I finally decided to separate them into different rooms this week. So far, it seems to be much better for both of them, but there is a part of me that feels sad or guilty or something....like I am breaking a twin bond. I guess I wanted to believe they would have that bond, that need to be together, but I never saw it. Everyone seems to sleep better when they are in different rooms, so I guess we'll go with that for now. I can always put them back together, right?
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Every set of twins is different, I'm sure. In the book I read written by an adult twin, the survey response to how close adult twins were to each other, the closest were identical girls, then fraternal girls, then boy/girl twins, with fraternal boys down at the bottom of the list. So, maybe they just aren't that into each other? ;)
ReplyDeleteMy boys have slept in the same room since birth, and they have never woken each other up. But then again, one of my sons could sleep through just about anything, and has!...smoke alarms going off, thunder storms, wailing sirens and helicopters overhead (we lived right by a hospital)..you name it. So his brother crying or tossing doesn't do diddly. And he sleeps like a rock, so he doesn't wake his brother up. If you have two lite sleepers on your hands, though, having them in the same room is just going to make them fussy and over tired.
hi debbie, as a mother you know whats best for your babies, and i am sure your are in no way breaking their bond.
ReplyDeletei'd love to hear about sleep training. my little one is 2 months old, and falls asleep in our arms (thanks grandma). whens a good time to start sleep training? would love to hear your experience.
I can't imagine that constantly waking each other up could contribute to a close sibling bond. I can see why it would make you sad that sharing a room isn't working out right now; but skip the guilt!
ReplyDeleteAnd it seems early to worry that they aren't into one another. My little guy would watch the antics of older kids with some interest, but he didn't really get into other kids until around 8 months old.Hopefully by summer they'll be rolling all over each other like puppies!
this is so interesting to hear and know. i'm just trying to decide if we want 1 or 2 cribs in the beginning or not... hmmmm.and now separate rooms? ah, i just love learning about all of this stuff and still can't believe i get to do this too. i agree, skip the guilt :D
ReplyDeleteMy 2 guys are 2 and still in cribs in the same room. They settle down after a while and occasionally have awakened each other in the night but generally they do good. They miss each other when they are separated, and beat on one another when they are together. They like to talk to one another across the room but that works out well when it takes Mom a bit to wake up in the morning. Whatever you do, you know what works best, so don't worry about it.
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