The Drill Sergeant

So, apparently this is my new nickname given by my husband. He says it in good humor, referring to my over-the-top scheduling ways. In all seriousness, this is something I am struggling with. I read lots of books while pregnant and I had planned to keep the boys on a schedule, but not be too rigid. But I am starting to question the "not too rigid" part. I basically follow this routine every day: they wake up at 6:30am, eat, play for 1 hour (or as long as they can tolerate), take a nap and then we start over 3 hours later with the same feed-play-nap routine (based on the book Baby Wise). For the most part, it has worked well. The boys nap in their cribs and know when we go into their room and it's dark it means sleepy time. There are a few challenges with this. 1) it creates 4 naps a day which I have to work around; and 2) they are so used to their schedule and routine that when I want to take them somewhere, they aren't quite sure what's going on. I want to be able to go visit friends 2 hours away, go to restaurants, do some of the things that I enjoyed, but it always seems like too much trouble and I feel like I'm messing them up, so I tend to kind of be a "homebody." I have tried to go places and have them sleep in their pack n' play. Most of the time it has been a huge failure (partially because I think one pack n' play is too small for them and it's such close quarters among two noisy sleepers), but mostly they look around like, "where the heck am I?" On Christmas Eve, one of my guys decided to go into a 45 minute scream fest. I have not seen him do that since he was like 2 months old. I still don't really know what caused it. I think the combination of being somewhere weird, overstimulation (a thousand gifts/decorations), tired (it was the witching hour afterall). Bottom line is that I was seriously ready to pack my bags and leave. He was miserable, I was miserable and I'm pretty sure no one wanted to listen to that screaming during Christmas Eve dinner. So what I am getting at is that for the 90% of the time when we are home, having a structured schedule/routine works well. It's the 10% I am struggling with when I actually want to go out in the world. I kind of feel like the only way to make them more "adaptable" is to get them out more, but there is a part of me that thinks it's just not worth the headache and that pretty soon they will only be having 2-3 naps a day and can tolerate staying up longer, so just wait it out and it will get easier as they get older. What do you think? Does it get easier? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Quick Update

I am so terribly delinquent in posting. Here is a quick update in bullet form:

• Babies are almost 5 months old. They weigh about 13 lbs each and are still pretty small for their age (about the 5th percentile). I hope they aren't little runts forever!


• I am still at home, but planning to go back to work 2 days/week at the end of January. I have mixed feelings about it, but ultimately I think it will be good for me and for the babies.


• I am still pumping up a storm. I have enough milk for the babies, who are eating 5-6 oz. 5 times a day. I am freezing about 16 oz. extra a day.


• My Mom is still here helping out, but goes home on the weekends.


• Things with hubby aren't perfect, but MUCH better than before. Thanks to everyone for their tips and advice. It was so helpful and so nice to feel not alone in my experiences.


• Sleep Training was the best thing I ever did. Hearing them cry for the few days it took was hard, but getting rest has been PRICELESS.


• One of my babies has eczema...it's been our first real challenge. I am trying various creams, oils, etc. and it seems to be improving a little bit, but still working on it after about a month.


• My guys are SO different from one another, both in looks and personalities. One is independent, the other wants to be held and cuddled. One is loud and talkative, the other not so much.

Hmmm, that's all I can think of at the moment. Everyone says how life will never be the same. Boy are they right! It's been a wild ride so far, but I can't even imagine life without my little guys now.

One Year Ago

What a difference a year makes! The last month or so has been surreal watching the "anniversary" dates on the calendar...the date of our embryo transfer, the date of our positive beta and now Christmas Eve is approaching and it is the date we drove to our RE's office and saw our babies' heartbeats on the monitor for the first time. It was so quiet and calm that day, very few people on the roads that morning, the doctor's office/hospital so still and quiet. All was calm and we saw two little blinking lights on the ultrasound monitor. Our two little shining stars. It also happens to be the day I first puked after church service that night! LOL! The dates bring back the flurry of emotions...how terrified I was, how I wanted to be hopeful, but could barely let myself, how I wanted to adore the Christmas cards we received with these picture perfect families but I still resented them, how I desperately wanted more than 2 stockings hanging from our mantle. The list goes on. The feelings overwhelming. And when I look at my two little guys sitting here, almost 5 months old, it is completely surreal. I just never believed this day would come.