The last few weeks have been the "perfect storm" literally and figuratively! We had an earthquake, moved houses...during a hurricane, I was sick with a fever, my computer crashed, and the boys were going through a growth spurt and wanted to eat every 1.5 hours! It has been a wild ride and we are still recovering, so apologies for not posting for so long.The good news is that the boys are doing great. They are getting so big. At their 5 week check up they were up to 8 lbs each. That's pretty good considering they were just under 5 lbs when they were born.
Some things we are working on...
Breastfeeding - I don't know why, but we never got good at this. Matthew can latch well and seems to drink, but putters out after about 10 min. I think he hasn't gotten enough, so offer him a bottle and then will practically drink a whole bottle, which makes me feel so discouraged. Ryan and I have had a hard time latching. It takes 10-20 attempts, usually we finally get it, but he is so frustrated and I feel awful. So the end result is that I am primarily pumping and bottle feeding milk to them. I do try to nurse them once a day just to leave that door open and I really need to get my act together and go see a lactation consultant. My goal was to tandem breastfeed (seemed to be the most efficient way of doing things), but I can even get one to nurse a complete feeding. I have also had major issues with plugged ducts. I had heard of them, as well as mastitis, but I never imagined I would get them like every other day. I was spending an hour soaking in a bath every day and massaging my boobs, and then I got good at finding them. This is probably TMI, but basically I can eventually see a little white spot on my nipple and I have to squeeze it, almost like popping a pimple. Out comes a little white hardened milk, just about the size of the grain of sand and usually Niagara Falls erupts behind it because the milk was so backed up! It is pretty comical to see milk just spray out of my boobs and me try and catch it in a bottle!
So that's the boob story...
Sleep - that has been another challenge. When the boys came home from the hospital they were eating every 3 hours. Then a growth spurt hit and they wanted to eat every 1.5 - 2.5 hours. By the time you feed, change, pump, wash bottles, prep new bottles, it's time to start all over again. After a few weeks of that I finally decided about 4-5 days ago I was done with that and we are working on stretching out feedings and feeding more at each one. Now we are back to 2-3 hrs during the day and about 3 hours at night, although last night we got our first 4.5 hour stretch (pure bliss!!) We have always tried to keep them on the same schedule because otherwise you feed non-stop, but while we have been working on stretching feedings, I have let each one go as long as they can to try and encourage the right behavior and not feed just because their brother is hungry.
A couple of random thoughts...
- I am shocked that the boys seem oblivious of each other. Everything I read said they wanted to be together (same crib, etc.) from the beginning. These guys don't seem to even realize their brother is in the world. Kind of makes me sad, but I am guessing that may change soon.
- Pacifiers - I have been so undecided on this. I really don't want a 4year old who can't do without his binky. Also given our breastfeeding challenges I was worried about nipple confusion. BUT we seem to have hit a cranky phase where eating, burping, farting doesn't seem to do the trick. My mom busted out the pacifiers and tried one out and SILENCE. It was like magic. I think I am going to try to use for "emergencies" or at least when nothing else is working.
- I always thought kids either liked vibrating chairs or swings...these kids don't seem to be a fan of either! Matthew pretty much only sleeps on his stomach, which of course is not recommended because of SIDS.
- LOVE my City Mini Double stroller!
- I think I am going to need a boob job after nursing. My boobs are huge and heavy and my Target nursing bras aren't cutting it.
- When will my belly button return to normal and the stupid linea negra go away? I have about 8 lbs to pre-pregnancy weight, but I am more concerned with how strange my belly looks than the weight.
- When will the bleeding stop?? It tapered off about 3 weeks ago, then started up again around 5.5 weeks and tapered off and now it seems back again. My doctor doesn't seem bothered by it, but I am a little concerned everything isn't clearing out properly especially considering the issues with my placenta delivery.
- Being up and in the kitchen every 3 hours is not a good thing. I eat constantly. Not good for losing weight, not good on my teeth since I basically eat immediately after brushing.
- It is amazing how little sleep you can actually function on. I was always one of those people that needed my sleep. Now I get about 4-5 hours split into 2 - 2.5 hour increments and somehow manage.
- One of the things I was most unprepared for was how little I was going to see my husband. He is either working, farming, moving us, unpacking boxes, grocery shopping, or watching the kids while I sleep. We spend so little time together it makes me sad.
- I absolutely love having twins, but part of me feels like things are so mechanical. I just want to sit and enjoy each child and spend quality time and I feel like I have to hurry through everything to get it all done. Hoping that will get better with time.
- After going through pregnancy, delivery, breastfeeding and being one of those infertile people that felt like I had to experience that - I can now say I really think you can love a child that is not your flesh and blood just as much. So much of it is about once they are here - not just the pregnancy and birth story - and that seems to be the focus. Probably because we can't see any further. But after being on the other side of the mountain, each little child is precious no matter how they got here.
- I feel so so so incredibly blessed to finally be a mommy and cannot wait to see how these little guys will grow and develop. I dream of playing ball, riding bikes, going to the zoo. Cannot. wait! But for now I am enjoying tiny fingers and toes and all the grunts and farts! : )
